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What boosts your self esteem and self worth?

2
Reflective_Joy
AS we know many trolls and cyberbullies have a lot of issues with their self esteem and self worth. Hurting others is a way for them to feel empowered when they feel dis empowered. But many victims also struggle with self esteem and self worth, and when we are bullied that can erode our self worth even further.

So I thought I would start a thread where we celebrate what increases our self esteem and a healthy view of self. Perhaps someone reading this may just need that little reminder that they are WORTHY and that they are not defined by those that want to bring them down. Bullies too.

So let's get started! Share below what helps remind you of your worth! It's not just validating your talents but you as person. You are worthy despite things that you are good at. So really dig deep if you can!

I'll go first. What really reminds me of my self worth is being reminded that it's okay when I make a mistake. That I am human and fallible and I am accepted and appreciated regardless. That hasn't always been easy for me. It was always drummed into me that one is either good or bad with no middle ground to be human. So I really appreciate the reminder that I am human and will make mistakes and that's okay.

How about you?
3
terky2236
For me what helps, is when people say to me that i am a nice person. and i have to accept it, yes im nice, sure i do have my flaws, but people say im nice and caring, i need to accept it, just sometimes i need a little bit of motivation, but as long someone cares for me then im ok.
2
Petula
I agree, accepting your own flaws is the only way to love yourself fully and understand you are not perfect, no one is!!
Its easy to look back and cringe about things you may have said and done that were not good or nice etc. When I start on a negative cycle of thoughts about myself I always come back to 'me', me in the here and now. I think 'ok i have made mistakes, but each one was a priceless lesson and here I am, still here and still trying to be the best I can be'. Job done.
1
Reflective_Joy

In reply to terky2236

TERKY: It definitely helps to know that we are cared about and to be reminded of our good qualities. I think we all need motivation from time to time to remember that. :-)
1
Petula

In reply to *Reflective_Joy*

Too true. Its easy to be hard on yourself and forget all the great things about you. When i'm feeling down and nobody is around I play my guitar and that gives me a lot of joy and time to think more reflectively. Deep!!
2
Reflective_Joy

In reply to Petula

Originally posted by Petula
I agree, accepting your own flaws is the only way to love yourself fully and understand you are not perfect, no one is!!
Its easy to look back and cringe about things you may have said and done that were not good or nice etc. When I start on a negative cycle of thoughts about myself I always come back to 'me', me in the here and now. I think 'ok i have made mistakes, but each one was a priceless lesson and here I am, still here and still trying to be the best I can be'. Job done.


I absolutely loved the way you put that! Especially to remind ourselves that what counts is who we are in the here and now and our past is a "priceless lesson". I couldn't agree more. It can be hard to remember that. It's easy to get caught up in our own negativity and past mistakes and that only serves to strip our present moment of joy and appreciation. Self compassion- which is what you just described- Definitely boosts our self worth. As a result we are more likely to increase both the volume and quality of compassion for others. Pretty powerful stuff!
1
CybersmileTeam
If anybody needs any help or support with low self esteem/self worth issues feel free to email [email protected] 24/7 for a trained support advisor. We specialise in getting people smiling again - keep the smiles coming!
1
Iaan
When my cat greats me when I get home and just wants to cuddle. Finishing a painting. Putting on a song high volume in my room dance like crazy to it. I mean like not good dancing like just jumping around. Getting a high score on a game. Ice cream always makes me feel good.
1
Sheepsies
what makes me feel better is when i help someone because i know that someone elses life is better :)
1
Reflective_Joy

In reply to Iaan

IAAN: Those are some great ones! Animals are fantastic in elevating our mood and its nice when they come to us for a cuddle. Music is also a great one to help lift our spirits. I definitely dance around my room with the music full blast when I need cheering up! For some reason, The Killers Mr Brightside is my go to these days!

I love how you also mentioned art. Painting and art in general is SUCH a great way for us to express how we are feeling. How the splashes of colours and texture can make us feel a certain way. Also, like you said, just that wonderful feeling of accomplishment when your masterpiece is complete!
2
Reflective_Joy

In reply to *Sheepsies*

Sheepsies: I could not agree more. When we are there for others, we feel good too. It's a natural accidental wonderful result! It can also help us put things into prospective and to appreciate our own worth.
3
Cyberninja
For me its the simple things like smiling at someone random as you pass and getting a smile back. Priceless.
0
bbear
For me what it took was a lifetime of over compensating (being brilliant, representing great causes against huge government sized evils) and about 6 years of therapy. I'm 57 now and in some ways only coming to terms now with the bullying I got at school (it was really just sniping, but I was sensitive). I now there's a difference between IRL and cyber-bullying, but one of many similarities is that victims can become bullies and vice versa. And I did bully, and it made me feel much worse. That stopped at 18. I stopped it and became an altruist. An altruist that is inasmuch as it made me feel better to bully big tough victims than small isolated ones. So slowly emerging into a better consciousness of my history, my bullying responses to that,my altruistic bullying and this more self-aware last page in my life - that's really the only thing that worked for me. I hope now I have gotten through that stuff to never need anything in particular to keep me afloat. We'll see.

Carpe Diem I suppose.
0
bbear
P.S. (and really thinking about it some more) I guess what made the real difference was knowing I am not alone, that others feel this way (down, self-doubting, self-loathing etc), that all others in the wrong circumstances would feel this way. That empathy, feeling sorry for other people, is what I think was the breakthrough and will be the sustainer in future, for me anyway.
1
Reflective_Joy

In reply to bbear

BBear- Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and how far you have come. I think that will speak to many who may be still going through that journey and be inspiring for them to turn their thinking and actions around.
Thank you again for your insights!
2
VeggieBunnie
Growing up, I received a lot of negative feedback from people that should have been building me up. I internalized what they said about me, and believed it. I was fortunate enough to have others in my life that wrote sweet words to me, thanking me for being me. When the old voices creep in to my mind, I pull out those cards and letters and reread them to remind myself that the person the authors saw is not and cannot be the same person my bullies saw.
I like to add to others' collections of positive notes. Knowing what they've done for me, I love sending happy notes to others.
0
Dasiydo
Well for me got two cats called Sydnee and Annbel and going in Sumer house (when weather ok) Cats jump on my knee. I also put music on dacing around the room as crazy too. I did feel low two months go when I have go Hospital be told got eat Gluten-free food only because I now got Coeliac Disease but don't let at Stop me. I going different groups for friendly chat and Social skill in real life. I try think one positive thoughts a day it is believed in yourself