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Tips on how to forgive

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milolovesyou
I was bullied within the club sport I did for 5 years straight. It’s been about a year now since I’ve quit and have tried to move on. I can’t find peace and I don’t know how to forgive these people who caused me pain. I still see these people in public, and I have panicked responses. I know healing can take a while, but a few tips on how to move on would be nice.
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Mallika
Hi Milo, I want to assure you that you are not alone. I have seen many kids like you in my time when I was in school and I understand how heartbreaking it is to be in the position you are in. It can be a very overwhelming situation for a person your age and I would advise you to confide in a trustworthy adult - it could be your parents, or your teacher or your school's guidance counsellor. You will be amazed at how much better you'll feel after opening up to someone. Another thing I want to tell you about is the phoenix - have you heard of this mythical creature called the phoenix? It is a bird that re-creates itself into a new form after being burned to ashes. The best punishment you can give your bullies is by being like this phoenix - don't let them deter you from anything; whether it's your hobbies/school life/academics, live your life with confidence. Nothing can stop you.
Don't worry about trying to forgive them right away. Overrated as it sounds, time does heal old wounds. Over time, you will get the power to forgive. But for now, focus on letting your inner spark shine through and regaining mental peace. I emphasise, focus on regaining your mental peace. Your school's guidance counsellor will be able to help you with that. You're doing strong, loads of love to you!!
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David85
Hi Milo,

I went through bullying and one thing I remember looking back now was how much I beat myself up for being 'weak'. I've since learned it takes a different kind of strength to endure something that you can't control or always avoid and come out of it wiser, not weaker. Take away some of the self recriminations and look at yourself as someone who has saved or rescued you from a bad situation. I think you'll find you are the hero in this story. Well done!
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Cyberninja
Forgive, yes. It's the only way to stop becoming resentful, so you can let go of anger.

But never forget, so you can be on guard and also know what to do and how to handle if it happens again.

Jules92 is spot-on. Surround yourself with people who actually care about you and let everyone else go.
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Jules92
Your right, healing does take a while so don't worry, you will get there. You will never forget the bullying that happened but with time the pain and anxiety will lessen and you are well prepared to spot the signs of bullying behaviour in the future. My best advice would be to surround yourself with people who actually care about you and want the best for you in life. Anyone who does not is not worth engaging with. Stay strong, and well done for getting yourself out of a very badly run club. Time to move on. xx