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I'm (still) a bully

0
Wanesite
These days I'm in such a bad mood that sometimes I see myself get out of me and be a totally different person. It's still there! The bullying habit! I can't believe I did it again but I did.

It wasn't the first time tho. I've called people that offensive word even though intention was not bad, but still offends. I wanna share body positivity but in fact that is offensive to do so.

I've had this nice friend of mine who was my inspiration on instagram, and he was always there for me in bad times. But what I did today to him was unforgivable... I wanted to tell him how attractive he is, but somehow I rushed and without thinking I offended on his looks (not saying). I didn't mean to say it in an offensive way, but it did hurt him and it was my fault.

I've called many people that word and I kinda feel worse that I haven't let go my bad habit of bullying. I need to train myself to stop, but I can't help it. I'm not always sad, so that's why most of time my thoughts are clear, but when I'm sad no.

Now all of his friends bully me for that and I understand. Help me find apps, resources or anything to stop myself. I installed rethink keyboard, but there should be more
1
Cyberninja
Hey, don't be too hard on yourself, everyone lets themselves down by lashing out sometimes. The most important thing is that you are aware that this is wrong and it is making you feel bad. Making amends is going to help, if you really feel sorry for hurting a person, then it is perfectly ok for you to say sorry and move on. I'm sure the person you hurt would appreciate it and understand. A good thing to look at is 'mindfullness', there is a thread on here about it - www.cybersmile.org/cyberbullying-support-community/topic/mindfulness_186/

You might find some useful tips here as well, www.cybersmile.org/blog/mindfulness

BTW, well done for recognising the issue, and well done for speaking honestly about it. :))
0
Wanesite

In reply to Cyberninja

It has been some days going on and I realized that even though a part of it may have been my mistake, since this person clearly had problems with body positivity and was against it somehow. I just wanted to make him feel better about himself even most of my friends don't get offended when I tell them things like that. But none the less, the 'friend' who texted me hurtful messages came to be the same person. I proved that through the screenshots where the bully's screen and keyboard was the same, even the screenshot where he got triggered from was hiding the parts where I told him good things, and it showed only the 'thing that hurt him'. I kinda feel bad for this person that they become a bully and choose to hurt instead of telling me directly that they don't like the idea of body positivity. I understand him that he has insecurities, but going this far is not okay.
0
Cyberninja
This is sounding more and more like a situation that you need to walk away from.

You have done the right thing by apologising and you can do no more than that. Just keep mindful of your responses to situations and move on. You can't fix other peoples issues, but you can address your own. Keep up the positive mental attitude and you will be fine Wanesite.