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How would you like adults you trust to address bullying with you?

1
Reflective_Joy
Sometimes it can be hard to go to an adult and talk about cyber bullying or in person bullying. We can feel ashamed, afraid of being judged, or not taken seriously. Many parents, teachers,counselors or other adults we trust- may genuinely care and want to help you. But when it comes to the internet, it can still be unchartered waters for many. They may not say the right thing or know how to support you. But genuinely want to.

If mom, dad, caregiver, teacher etc.. could be there for you, what would you want to hear that would help you to trust them and continue to feel like you could open up to them?
1
jenniferannesm2
First, as caring and sincere as they may be, I would want them to acknowledge how real and how devastating Cyberbullying is.

Since it's not something they had to deal with when they were younger, I don't think they've yet to wrap their brains around how much damage it can do. Even with the publicity around the Cyberbullying that led to suicides.
I think they assume the victims were already depressed or they had other problems, and they don't understand that it was most likely the Cyberbullying that led to the depression and other problems, which tragically drove these people to suicide.

I would want to hear them describe Cyberbullying with the words it deserves: horrific, cruel, undeserved, criminal, sadistic. That way I would know that they understood the nightmare I had been trying to cope with.
1
Reflective_Joy
That was really well put Jennifer. I definitely think you hit on an important factor. That cyber bullying can bring about mental health issues that aren't already present. If they are present, it can certainly exacerbate them. Anxiety and depression can definitely be heightened further when on the receiving end of any type of bullying.
0
Jazz
When I spoke to my son about this issue he told me that he did not want me to judge him and think of him as a problem. I think that most parents show their frustrations in a way that puts their children off approaching them, they think that they are being made to feel responsible for being bullied or abused online. I accept that I am unable to empathise and understand the problem to a degree because I have little experience of what it is like growing up in a digital environment, so I just let him know that I will always listen and support him if problems arise and that I will do all I can for him.
1
Jules92
I was bullied for a while online and at school and my parents gave me all the advice they could but it was still very difficult. The best advice they gave me was not to catch the ball, meaning don't bite back and play their game. This gave me a life skill in dealing with difficult people generally that has stayed with me into adulthood. Being able to recognise when someone is trying to control you or put you down and then consciously making a decision to blank their efforts by not "playing" takes away their power over you. Ive learned that aggressive behaviour is a flaw in someones emotional make up, not mine!!
0
Reflective_Joy
Jules92- Sound advice! They're right and I think that's what many of us struggle with. It's human nature to want to strike back but it's also exactly what those hurting us want us to do. By " not playing the game" and being the bigger person ( authentically) is far more powerful than any response we could give them.
0
Dasiydo
I wasn't bullying online I was bullying on the bus going college Crouse same time as school children. It was my fault be on own it scare saw my bus pass and my hearing aids and start on me saying awful things at did not go to Staffordshire farm at day miss my lesson because of bullying on the buses. This pubic bus as well but I also kind and caring friendly person but need help and support. I made mistake bottle up inside me don't do that talk to someone who can trust. Sadly lost my self-esteem at movement make Square one with mealth health problem. Stand up bullying in group try make friends what bullying don't like?"Is when do well I would listern to people having problems.