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Help, I'm being cyberbullied and I've been told I can't do anything about it

1
Feinerine
So, basically, I can't talk to my ex boyfriend (it wasn't meant to be like this, it's complicated) because his ex has been hacking into his accounts and blocking me on all of them. I asked them to stop but they denied it, but I haven't talked to him in 4 months because of it. I asked headspace for help, but they said I can't do anything about it. Is it really true that I can't do anything?
0
CybersmileTeam
Hey Feinerine, welcome to our community. Hopefully you will get lots of great ideas and feedback to help solve your issue online. But if you need extra help we have lots of information in our cyberbullying and digital abuse help center here www.cybersmile.org/advice-help or alternatively you can email [email protected] 24/7 for a trained advisor. Good luck!
1
Cyberninja
It will be difficult for you to do anything because it is not your account. It will be up to your ex to sort it out, if he is aware of the problem, which he should be if it is his account? Have you tried any other ways of contacting him to let him know, or maybe contact one of his friends to see if a message can be passed on? Maybe if he has not heard from you for a while he will get in touch.
1
heidilynnrussell
Hi Feinerine, and welcome to the forum.

I'm not a computer guru and can't offer any anti-hacking advice, but I do have one thought about the overall situation ... and although unsolicited, here it comes:

Do nothing. No contact, no protests, no further investigating ... nothing.

In a case where an ex-boyfriend has ceased contact, even if he doesn't know that someone else may be responsible (i.e., the hacker you described) ... you will only know that he truly cares about you if he comes looking for you.

And they always do, when they are the ones who desire to reconnect.

Always.

Meanwhile, you will save yourself immense peace of mind and heart, and you will be operating from a position of "high value." When you take the high ground and leave the situation, it allows you to focus on the things that are important in your life. You may discover a new passion or hobby. You may discover there is something that you have loved doing in the past and will reconnect with that activity. You may discover old friends that you haven't connected with in a while. You may discover that there are hurting people around you who need your light and friendship.

But you can't discover these things if you are focused on a person or situation that is bringing negative energy or darkness to your day.

If you back off and do nothing, a couple of things will happen: 1) You will learn to rediscover your own strengths and feel more self-confident. You may even attract a better new boyfriend by doing that! and/or 2) Your old boyfriend will eventually realize your absence. Either he will miss your presence and seek you out, or you will not hear from him again. And if you don't hear from him again, you know what? It is your gain, because you will move towards someone else who will value you for your own beauty and qualities.

I know this is off topic of cyberbullying and hacking ... I just saw your post and thought that from woman-to-woman, you might need some encouragement on the romantic front.

I am sure you have amazing qualities that someone out there -- whether it's your ex boyfriend or someone new -- will appreciate fully.

Oh, and one more thing -- a third thing will happen if you back off and do nothing:

If this other woman who has hacked into the account realizes you're gone, she has no one to torment. She may be doing this maliciously to hurt you. By removing yourself from the situation completely, you take away her power.

Just some food for thought ... and do connect with the Cybersmile team in private message, because they're pretty awesome and can help you if you decide to pursue this.

Best wishes,
Heidi
0
Feinerine

In reply to Cyberninja

Hi there! I have tried, but the ex is telling others that he doesn't ever want to talk to me anymore.
1
Feinerine

In reply to heidilynnrussell

Hello! Thank you for your response, that makes perfect sense and I will consider it, I think it's a great idea.
2
Jules92

In reply to heidilynnrussell

Hey Feinerine, I think that Heidi is making a lot of sense. Take back the power from the other ex and stop reaching out to him. If he truly wants to contact you he will. It may be time to move on and, as my mum always says to me, "don't water dead wood". When I find myself giving love and respect to someone who does not take it or give some back, I remember this little saying, smile and move on to where I am appreciated. Try it, you will find yourself in a much happier place!
2
Feinerine

In reply to Jules92

Okay, I think I'll do it then. Thank you for all the advice.
1
heidilynnrussell
Keep us posted, and don't forget that you are not alone.

All of us at some point have been in a situation where we feel rejected by someone else. It's very unsettling, I know. But conduct yourself with confidence and try to enjoy life. Life is too short to dwell on someone who is causing you pain.
0
Feinerine
Hi, things haven't gotten better for me, but now I'm getting over him. It's going to take a while, but I'll be fine. Thank you for helping me out, everyone!
1
Reflective_Joy

In reply to Feinerine

Hi Feinerine,

It's great to hear from you! I am sorry to hear things haven't gotten better. Healing from a breakup takes times and is never easy. As you said, it may take a while. But that's okay. Be kind to you and remember it's okay to feel what you are feeling. Glad the forum could be of help to you! You know where we are if you need us. ;-)

Hang in there!
1
heidilynnrussell

In reply to Feinerine

Hey there Feinerine,

While you are getting over this relationship, do your best to take care of yourself. The bad news is that it will hurt for a little while. The good news is that in the future, you may not even remember his name -- or you will be in such a different place that this will seem like a blip.
It's hard, but stay strong and focus on the things that make YOU happy -- or take up a new hobby, something to take your mind off of the situation. You will make it!

Heidi
3
Feinerine
Thank you Heidi and Joy, I'm doing my best. I also found out that the ex isn't involved, it's some guy with a crush on him. But in any case, I'm recovering, thank you for the help!
1
Aileen
Keep it up, as Joy and Heidi wrote, it takes time, good new is - you'll get there <3

Stay amazing,

~Aileen
0
GeluDragon
The solution is easy, well 2, 1 is to talk to him in real life, but since you can't make arrangements with him, there goes that idea, 2 is you could play the bully and try calling him if you know his number, and if that doesn't work... try some unique way to contact him, or let him find a way to contact you, but if you want to try, like I said, find a unique way like through Gmail or any email account, I've learned you can start a chat box, but everyone knows that, most likely, but you get the point, there is always a way.