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Friend to Bully

3
LoveMusic
Okay, I really need help because I don't know what to do. I have a group of friends that I met online, and I know what you are thinking, "don't do that" but most are really great people. But this one guy, we were really good friends (or so I thought) but then recently he has been really mean to people and earlier tonight he not only bullied me but my friend too and I don't know what to do anymore. I know I could just block him and I know how to avoid him, but blocking him would require leaving a group chat that he is in which also means leaving a few other online friends. I would really appreciate any advice anyone has because I am out of ideas on what to do. I also fear that he will never be totally gone unless I leave all but like 2 of my internet friends and I don't know if I can mentally do that. :(
2
GamerGirl
Couldn't have said it better myself! Great advice.

Originally posted by terky2236
believe me i can understand, its hard, and you dont want to lose the unity, only advice i can think off, is to make your own party, make it private or invite only, if it starts to get worse then block him and report him and delete him off your friends list, its hard has happen to me, but you have to think whats good for you
2
CybersmileTeam
We have a cyberbullying and online abuse help center which you might find useful here www.cybersmile.org/advice-help
3
terky2236
believe me i can understand, its hard, and you dont want to lose the unity, only advice i can think off, is to make your own party, make it private or invite only, if it starts to get worse then block him and report him and delete him off your friends list, its hard has happen to me, but you have to think whats good for you
3
GamerGirl
I'd just like to add that please don't feel like you shouldn't make friends online because pretty much all my friends are online and they're awesome! You get some good and some bad but that's just like real life. Just be sure to protect yourself and never give away your passwords or anything personal like that. You've done the right thing reaching out on here there are some very knowledgeable and kind people on here!
2
CybersmileTeam
Thanks for reaching out LOVEMUSIC, we know how difficult these situations can be so please know that we have trained support advisors who can help you if you feel you need it. Just email [email protected] for an advisor. We're sure you will get lots of great advice from your fellow Cybersmilers!
4
Reflective_Joy
Hello LOVEMUSIC,

First, let me offer you a big welcome to our Forum!

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I can imagine this must be a really tough position to be in. It can be hard when you are a part of a group that you enjoy but one person makes it difficult for everyone else. I just want to let you know, that if you ever want to speak to someone confidentially about this or any other issues, you can reach out to the Cybersmile team at [email protected] They are available 24/7.

I would also suggest checking out the post I recently wrote on here titled "Are you finding it hard to stay silent?" A few people have also contributed to it and you may find some of the suggestions helpful. I think Aileen, had some great advice here, that as a group you may be able to address the situation. As you mentioned, your friends were also being bullied, so you are probably not alone in how you feel. Perhaps you can reach out to the other members?

You shouldn't have to go through this alone and you don't. So please feel free to add to this discussion or to send an email to the team if you need further support. We are glad to have you on here!
4
Aileen
Hi!
Oh, this really is a difficult one. If the forum the chat is on doesn't have a place where you can report him and let others handle it...
I would sugest to honestly call him out on it. Stand up to him on the chat by for example writing something like "perhaps you did not mean to, but what you wrote was really not nice and kind of hurtful. I would like not having to block you but if you insist to act like that to me or annyone else on this chat then I will because it really isn't enjoyable for anyone when you write something cruel/hurtful/mean". Hopefully he won't act out on the chat and he might understand what he has been doing and stop bullying on the chat. But it might not work so it really is up to you in the end if you are willing to take on whatever the consequence may be. Probably others on the chat will agree with you if you bring it up and if he can't change maybe he himself will leave the chat and all your other friends and you can enjoy a more agreeable and respected space online!

Stay amazing,
~Aileen