X Close Search

Forced Online Friendship

1
SilverDude
Hi there guys, I’m new to this site and thanks for having me.

So my story is a little complicated, but I’ll try my best to describe it in a clear way.

I began an online friendship with someone about 18 months ago on twitter. First tweeting one another and then eventually leading to Direct Messages.

Things seemed good, fun, exciting. I hasn’t had a good friend like this to talk to for years. I’m a very closed off, extremely private person. I don’t talk much to anyone, but I do have a nice online following with a few people I know quite well. But none privately or personally.

Over the course of the last 6 months or so, my friendship with this person has become quite pressured. I feel very obligated to this person to the point of having to reply instantly, or else they become upset.

Lately this has intensified ten fold, it has now gotten to the point where the conversation lasts every second of every day. I find myself on my phone constantly in fear of disappointing them.

Now this is sounding like it’s my problem, which I used to think it was. However, this person has completely changed their behaviour, they are very angry at me almost daily, they put me down, point out my flaws, and constantly explains to me what I’m doing wrong and how I’m upsetting them. If I’ve taken 10 minutes to reply, I am asked why, where have I been? And then proceed to tell me how I’ve made them cry because they feel I’m ignoring them.

This has now gone beyond this, many many times now they have threaded to leave and never talk to me again. And then 10 minutes layer they’re back, but not to apologise, but to inform me they’ll give me one more chance.

I have attempted many times to explain how I feel, trapped, pressured, but they immediately turn it around and I end up apologising.

As I said, I am a very private person. And because this friendship become so strong, we shared many stories of sensitive subjects and things I wouldn’t normally tell anyone unless I fully trusted them, which originally I thought I did.

Now, aside from my main worry of how this is overtaking my entire life, constantly being on edge about how they will treat me from one day to the next. I am now worried that if I ever step out of line again, they may share these stories I’ve told them about my personal life publicaly.

Has anyone been on this situation before? Any advice?

This person is still special to me and all I want is for them to go back to how they were when we first met.

(I should add this isn’t a romantic relationship, never has been. Purely friendship.)
0
smileysammy
Hi SilverDude,
it sound's to me like they are manipulating you to do things or say things you are not comfortable with. If this person doesn't see a problem with treating you this way then it seems like they aren't a true friend. If I was you I would try talking to them about it honestly, explain how you feel you've not been treated very nicely and it's making you feel unhappy. If they don't take this into consideration and start being nice to you, then I would distance yourself from them. That's what I would do anyway?
Hope this helps.
0
Jules92
Hi Silverdude, sounds like this person has got some serious issues and is playing games with you. Whether this is intentional or not makes no difference, they are either not well or intentionally manipulating/controlling you. One thing is for sure, this person is not behaving like a 'friend' at all. You are in no way 'responsible' for anything this person says they are feeling and to constantly put their needs in your face every day is just not on. Block, and delete this person from all your social media, email and any other point of contact. You are in control of your online spaces not this person. If you want more advice on how to deal with harassment like this then you should go to the Cybersmile Help Centre - www.cybersmile.org/advice-help

Remember, you have done nothing wrong and you are not responsible for this persons feelings. Get rid and get on with your life. xx